If you are a parent, you have seen all of your child’s feelings. Tears for the wrong bowl. Being upset at bed time. Or mad when they have to share. In those hard times, it is easy to act fast. But what if you chose to help, not just act? As a Child Development Specialist, I have helped many parents in the U.S. and other places use mindful parenting. This way helps you be calm even when your child is not. I will show you how to deal with your own feelings and help your child with their big feelings. This helps you both feel close and helps with emotional regulation.
1. Pause First, Act Later
It may sound easy, but to pause first is a big help. Big feelings can come from a need. They may be hungry or tired. Or there is too much going on. When a child’s head is full of big feelings, they can’t think well. They need to feel safe and close to you. As the conscious parent, your job is not to fix the feeling. Your job is to be calm with them.
Try this: Put your hand on your heart when your child is upset. Count to five in your head. This can help calm your body down so you can show them how to be calm.
2. Show You See, Don’t Make It Small
Did you ever say, “It’s not a big deal”? Then the big feelings got worse. That is because to them, it is a big deal. Active Listening Parenting is when you say back what your child feels. You can say it even if the feeling seems too big.
- “I see you are very sad your toy broke.”
- “That sounds so hard. I would feel that way too.”
This is the base of Nonviolent Communication. You show you see their feeling. You don’t make them feel bad or wrong now. You teach your child that feelings are okay. You show them it is safe to show how they feel. This helps with emotional regulation kids can learn for life.
3. Make Rules with Love
Being kind does not mean there are no rules. Kids do well when they have rules, more so when rules are set with love.
Example: “It is okay to be mad, but it is not okay to hit. Let’s use our words or take a break.”
This is part of positive discipline strategies for toddlers. You teach, not punish. You are still the conscious parent. You lead, but you don’t force. Over time, this makes Holistic Child Development. They learn about feelings, and they learn to care, talk, and be strong.
A Look at Parents Now
A 2023 report from the American Psychological Association said that 7 out of 10 parents in the U.S. say they act on their feelings in hard times with their kids. But kids whose parents are calm and kind have been shown to feel good about who they are. They do better in school. They are good with other kids. That is the real power of how to implement conscious parenting techniques at home. It is not just for now. It is for how they grow and feel for a long time.
To End: Helping is the New Way
No one is a perfect parent. We all have times when we use a loud voice or feel it is all too much. But each time you are close is a time to teach your child. You can teach them that feelings are not to be feared. They are for us to know more.
Tip: Put a “Feelings Chart” on your fridge. It helps your child name their feeling. It gives you a picture to help you start a calm talk.
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